Applause For Kids/Ulcers For Adults...

By some bizarre twist of fate, my wife and I are actually taking a little vacation. I don't know how we were able to pull away from our all-important jobs, but it matters little. Within probably 20 hours, I will be relaxing in Florida with the palm trees, palmetto bugs and liver spots. Land of adult tricycles. Land of milewide flea markets. Land of lowly, lethargic, lacerated sea cows. Land of shuffle board and capris. Land of all-night canasta tournaments and unplucked fruit trees and large, lumbering Lincolns. Land of backyard alligators and front lawn fountains. Land of the grandparents. Land of the great-grandparents. Homeland of Hemingway.
I doubt very much I will be on the computer while down there. I don't even know if they have computers down there. I'm sure they must, as there are colleges and such. I've never actually seen one there, that's all I'm saying. Perhaps I'll pick up one of those disposable cameras and try to take some artistic shots to post here. Perhaps I'll just stay down there and become a beach bum. I already have the beard and the twenty-year-old clothing. I just need to score some pigment or else I'll turn into a frito after three hours out on the beach. No one wants to see a bearded frito. Not before Memorial Day. Fancies and Goodnights, y'all.

Go ahead, 'have a swig'...

As uninspired as it may seem, I feel it necessary to do a 'test' entry, wherein I attempt to attach a 'link' to a 'word' or 'phrase'. I was admitted to "Ravenclaw", incidentally. It's where the 'smarties' go. Well, 'good evening, then'.

Repression, Confession, Digression, a lesson...

So, I have this friend back home. She has known me for awhile. We stay in touch. In a way, I saw her grow up, and she me, I suppose. Anyway, this friend has proven a link to many other friends of mine that I made along the way through college (not surprising, coming from a smallish town and an even smaller community of artists within--she probably knows people I don't know that she knows and wouldn't know to tell me because she has no way of knowing we know one another, you know). Anyway, after a succession of emails on the subject of 'hey, remember Eric' or something along those lines from her, I feel compelled to offer this public unbosoming:

No, I am not or was not homosexual nor bisexual in tendency. I wasn't even particularly heterosexual. I kept trying to tell people that. I even did a poem about it. It was rather well received, but if you weren't at the Back Room that night, you might not have realized, and I don't fault anyone for that. It was crowded and claustrophobic and smelled like dog carcass soaked in Jack Daniels.
Yes, I acknowledge things got weird sometimes. I had a tendency to fall in love (or so I thought) with lesbians and married women. This is probably a healthy portion of the reason why I couldn't reasonably claim any sexuality, and you know, I don't regret that.
[A note. I always felt inclinations alone were not a determination of your sexuality. I've had inclinations to rob a bank before, but that doesn't make me Bonnie OR Clyde].
Yes, I understand that I was not careful with other people's emotions. As a way of explanation (and not excuse), I grew up very introverted, very self-conscious, troubled you might say. Anyway, through acting, I found a way to deal with life through the back door, and eventually, learned how to connect with people . When I started doing that, I really enjoyed the process, and I gave plenty of people more attention than they were likely used to, just as certain people had done with me on occasion in my younger days, and I got all messed up over it, too. Note to all--if you realize (or don't, even) that someone is really into you, DO NOT kiss them. Don't kiss anyone. No kissing. Lips off. It just snowballs their emotions and makes things, ultimately, much less friendly. I've done this. It's been done to me. Instead, hold public debates on the likelihood of your relationship progressing. If it is deemed as forward moving, celebrate with tofu and colonics. Then go home and read Kafka. But don't get your mail. It has demons in it. Demons that will swallow your entire existence and belch out a faint memory. I'm exaggerating for effect. They are minor demons, and probably couldn't do more than give you a boil or an itch.
Anyway, I regret that people get caught up in the poop storm, but such is life, and I'm not being flip. It really is life. It's reality. Forgiving and moving on--that's transcendant...

I was going to title this 'Andy Rooney must be kicking in the box', but I just realized he isn't dead yet...

So I broke down and asked the question at the office today--who is Terri Schiavo? Since there was a litany of discussion going on about her, I thought maybe I would make conversation and poke my head out into the real world of 'news' a bit. Well, I found out. I read the articles. I've briefly examined the debates.

Having just come off a week long trial where slovenly investigation lead to the dubious presentation of scant evidence by nonetheless well-meaning (I can only assume) attorneys, I can only image the tenuousness of the process and the desperation that the parties involved must feel in the absence of any real concrete directives.
I don't intend to share any opinion on the whole situation, except to say that I feel for the people who were emotionally wrapped up in the case.

What I do think bears mentioning (or re-affirming, as it's been brought well up) is the necessity for a living will, or some legal document that would offer a more satisfactory solution to this popularized debate. Look, I have a degree in Philosophy. I know how mind numbing and frustrating it can be to try to analyze a concept to death, let alone a situation or an actual person (And I'm not attempting to be callous with the pun). So this is what I would suggest:

"Would you like to register to vote today?"
"Yes, I would."
"Do you have your License or other identification, your proof of local address, and your proof of living will?”
"I don't have a living will..."
"Then you're not going to register to vote today."
I mean, since the president's feedback comes into play in these cases, you ought to be able to incorporate that into your selection process.

Or perhaps: "Here's your Diploma, but first, have you completed your living will?"

If we incorporate this into the education process, and we should, since it's been shown to bear so heavily upon the nation's conscience, it is something that can be required of our graduates. A 'coming of age', 'welcome to your country' kind of thing. A kind of "in the next three years, ten of you will be dead, 18 of you will be pregnant, .6 of you will be vegetables--who's judgment are YOU going to rely upon?" I don't know. Regardless of how we incorporate it, it's obvious that medicine and science has brought us to a place where we are not inclined to lean on faith-based decision making (or perhaps that, too, has been stretched), and so the more we can spell out, the less room room we leave for existential debate.

Or, just maybe, we need the debate more than we need the solution. Now that's the suggestion of a dutiful Philosophy student...

Now, you want to know how I really feel? The American Media has somehow turned from a non-biased national event reference and commentary to an all-consuming tree of knowledge beneath which all the light of free thought and objectivity is blocked. Perhaps the next feeding tube we pull should be from it.