I have 8 minutes to type this...
Just a brief one this morning. Things are a bit tighter around the office lately. The Reichstag has burned, and the storm troopers are routinely checking my console for non-sanctioned web activity. But I just couldn't resist with this one.
This is just a quick 'I understand where you're coming from' to women. Men suck. They really do. Even the decent ones make suck decisions. Take this popular celebrity gentleman. Hailed among country's finest (for what that's worth to most of the educated populace, right?). Anyway, I just thought, aside from any other factors that seem to plague celebrity relationships, that this was a clear cut case of Mr. Chesney having hatched and flown all without learning one thing about women. When you marry a beautiful, talented woman, and then immediately hit the road to pursue your career, that woman is going to be bent out of shape. That's not marriage. That's a distance relationship, more a concept than a conjunction, and she has already had, or could at any point have, many of those. And, if you should be asked about it by media representatives after the fact, do try not to be smug about it, as if you had just survived an assassination attempt, as if something beyond your control had swept through your life, leaving you to reassemble the pieces.
But this is not a passive aggressive stab at men in general. I know some very good men. They are not in relationships. [I would be remiss if I didn't mention that one reason why crappy men treat women badly is because women keep linking up with them. Link up with a good guy--you won't be treated badly. Then maybe, over time, 'men suck' would be less of a generality and more of an isolated and well-documented phenomena].
This is also not a curse upon Kenny Chesney, who has in grand understated fashion polluted the print with is ignorant and negligent male ego.
This is an apology to and an offer of understanding to Miss Zellweger, who, in one year's time, has gone from 'You had me at hello' to being a 'sideshow'.
This is just a quick 'I understand where you're coming from' to women. Men suck. They really do. Even the decent ones make suck decisions. Take this popular celebrity gentleman. Hailed among country's finest (for what that's worth to most of the educated populace, right?). Anyway, I just thought, aside from any other factors that seem to plague celebrity relationships, that this was a clear cut case of Mr. Chesney having hatched and flown all without learning one thing about women. When you marry a beautiful, talented woman, and then immediately hit the road to pursue your career, that woman is going to be bent out of shape. That's not marriage. That's a distance relationship, more a concept than a conjunction, and she has already had, or could at any point have, many of those. And, if you should be asked about it by media representatives after the fact, do try not to be smug about it, as if you had just survived an assassination attempt, as if something beyond your control had swept through your life, leaving you to reassemble the pieces.
But this is not a passive aggressive stab at men in general. I know some very good men. They are not in relationships. [I would be remiss if I didn't mention that one reason why crappy men treat women badly is because women keep linking up with them. Link up with a good guy--you won't be treated badly. Then maybe, over time, 'men suck' would be less of a generality and more of an isolated and well-documented phenomena].
This is also not a curse upon Kenny Chesney, who has in grand understated fashion polluted the print with is ignorant and negligent male ego.
This is an apology to and an offer of understanding to Miss Zellweger, who, in one year's time, has gone from 'You had me at hello' to being a 'sideshow'.
posted by Master of None at 8:52 AM
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