Monday, July 25, 2005

Just so's you know I'm not slacking...

Okay, I never intended to go so long without putting something here, but then, you know what they say about intentions--they kidnapped the Lindbergh baby. Nasty things. Anyway, I have been writing, just elsewhere and to other ends, one of which I shall bare here. I urge the faint-hearted among you--look away...!
(assume that there are Dillon-esque chords being strummed away behind this)


MANY WAYS
(dedicated to the sisters Ariel)

When I look back on the years we shared
I find it funny to think how much I cared
How much of a future I stored in the thought of you and I
Even though you always made me laugh
It was the only emotional path
That you were able to travel, or perhaps were willing to try

There were days that we wouldn’t get out of bed
Hid beneath the covers; hide our heads
To keep the sunlight from our eyes
You had your jokes that you liked to tell
You had your excuses; you used them well
It’s hard to accept we built a relationship on lies

There are many, many ways to live one life and you tried them all
And I felt on top of the world with you, but, at times,
I also felt so small

Is it possible these halls contain so much?
Like the imprint of a touch or the sense of two, both me and you
When there now remains just one?
Memories to patch and peel, the sound of ghosts that keep you real
Hieroglyphs of a story that has long been left undone

I won’t get bitter ‘cause you needed to bail
Looking for a different wind to fill your sail
And I’ll try to remember that you failed to mature
The truth is you see me my crying myself hoarse
Filling up a sea while you plot your course to abandon me
With no remorse, in the name of adventure

There are many, many ways to live one life and you tried them all
And I felt on top of the world with you, but, at times,
I also felt so small
So many times I spread my arms out wide
To catch you up when you cried ‘wolf’
But I see now that I needed to let you fall

It wasn’t always easy
I used to be afraid
I used think I deserved to be treated badly, so I stayed
What have I done?
What did I get?
It doesn’t matter what color you paint the walls in a house made of regret

You spent my money and you spent my time
Selfishness is not a victimless crime
But you’re not the kind of guy whose conscience would tie him down
Angry and jealous when I went out
I wanted to be honest but I very much doubt
You would have recognized the sound of honesty

I won’t get bitter ‘cause you needed to bail
Looking for a different wind to fill your sail
And I’ll try to remember that you failed to mature
The truth is you see me my crying myself hoarse
Filling up a sea while you plot your course to abandon me
With no remorse, in the name of adventure

There are many, many ways to live one life and you tried them all
And I felt on top of the world with you, but, at times
I also felt so small
So many times I spread my arms out wide
To catch you up when you cried ‘wolf’
But I see now that I needed to let you fall
And when you finally hit the ground
Don’t look around for me, because you will see
Finally, that I am moving on
And I wouldn’t trade a minute since
Everywhere I look I see evidence
Of a growing sense of confidence
In knowing who I am
There are many, many ways to live one life and I mean to try
Until I find that one that fits me
(and it won’t include someone that hits me)

There are many, many things I want to do
And I’ve got the rest of my life, and for once
That’s something I am looking forward to…