The Self-Actualization of Proverbs 19:3 and some autobiographical hugger-mugger...

Well, all's quiet on the Southern front. The dishes are washed, the finances have been examined if still thoroughly misunderstood and the wife is tucked in, ready for a relatively long night of bizarre dreams that she will remember and want to tell me about tomorrow evening. We are both thinking about quitting our jobs. If you're just tuning in, we both work for a children's acting company, a very young company, and yet one that surprisingly demands the same attention as a much older, more established parent-like company. It says obey, but enjoy. It warns prioritize, but pursue your own ends. It offers no end of anxiety and reckless debate, and yet celebrates encouragement and self-esteem. What we are fast becoming are husks, flaky and windriven. We have been shorn from our young lives together. We have been left out like chaff to be scattered in the stampeding realization of another's dreams. Countless children have grown fat and ruddy from our bloodwork, ravenous each new day as if no draught had yet been drawn, and for it we are bandaged with paychecks, and sutured with the occasional exclamation of gratitude. Perhaps the problem is within me, I think. Then I look about inside and realize, no that can't be--I'm completely empty.
Other days I just suck it up and pull another smile off another hanger, slap it on, and sing life.