Almost like a Medici...

I shipped my wife off to NYC yesterday. Or rather, she shipped herself off. I was in Canada at the time. Still here, for a few more hours. New York City itself is no threat--she lived there for 10 years. The troublesome thing is our marriage. That is 3 years old and has always taken place in Atlanta. Granted, during the final 3 months of our engagement, we had the same arrangement (down to me living in my sisters' basement, as is again the case), so there is precedent. But this time, it's open-ended. There is, as of yet, no return ticket. If things go well and our finances hold up, she could stay for 2 months or more. If she is cast in a show during that time (which is really the point of the trip), that time period could stretch from 3-6 months at least.
The truth is, I see many reasons why I think this could work. I'm a solitary person, and a bit of a workaholic, so staying alone for awhile and working 2 jobs sounds rather appealing. Rachel is a people person who thrives off of performance and interaction, so between auditions, casts and audiences, and the sheer volume of people who are constantly in your face out there, she has much to occupy herself with. It's those reflective times I wonder about, those alone-in-bed-and-can'tsleep-times. It's the Can v. Should debate, which, if I listened to the generations preceding me, would always end convincingly with 'should' victorious. I won't deign to enter the debate here, but I will offer my thoughts on the matter:

Rachel spent many years in New York in a repeated cycle of auditioning for, being cast in, and turning down shows. This happened in part because she belonged to a religious organization that presumed to insert its members into the lives of its other members to the tune of advice, strong advice, coercion and manipulation (you see, when someone has surrendered themselves to God's will, 'God's will' can be stretched to include the reformatting and regulating of a multitude of behaviors). The primary problem with this is that God himself is perhaps the most staunch proponent of the Free Will argument. One of the great things about being able to make up your own mind about things is that you not only get to develop the process by which your entire existence will be appraised, but if things don't turn out great, you have the opportunity to learn and have no one to blame but yourself for the outcomes. But I digress.
I had mentioned 'in part' because I don't fully blame the organization for her choices as they were, after all, made by her. The end result, however, is a deep-rooted bitterness which thrives in her to this day. And so, these are the things I weigh in my mind:
Her talent, which is sizable
Her Drive, which is diluted, but is sterling beneath the years of dross
Her Passion; she is only truly happy when performing
Her Bitterness, which breaks my heart
Her Age; she will not enjoy youth, or at least 'stage' youth, much longer)
Our Means; aside from the random babysitting work she picked up, I am able to work both my job and her job, and am well compensated in both
Our Station; we have yet to start a family or even purchase a home--this may be the least tethered point in our lives for the next 20 years

The reality of it is, it's not 'now or never'. It's 'now or not for a very long time'. And, in the now v. very long time debate, despite what convincing and decisive input might be shared by the preceding generations and religious organizations, I am inclined heavily to fall in favor of the 'now'.