Stumbling absently upon enlightenment...

Finally, a faith for the masses. Something for readers, writers, gamers, idealists, anarchists, celebrities, free-thinkers, convention-casters, fetishists, dilettantes, politicians, Californians, amputees, ombudsmen, and red-headed stepchildren. But not this one. I mean, I've dabbled, but let's face it: Captain Caveman may have been a great teacher, but I'm not ready to go following him into the Iron Age. Batman is great, and we all feel good when we see the signal in the sky 'cause we know in the morning that papers are going to have stories about the butt he kicked the night before, but who else is seriously going to put on a hard rubber bat suit and jump around on the buildingtops? I would love to share Garp's world view, but who can relate to him? I don't have Romeo's passion, or Achilles' hunger, or Columbo's intuition, or Wolverine's cool adamantine enhancements and matching stubborn rage. I'm just me. Quiet, unassuming, pondersome me.

Wait a minute.

I'll make myself a god. I'll worship myself! What a great idea. And there won't be any annoying people to have to sit next to, because no one will know about this religion because it will all be in my head. It's perfect. I wonder why no one ever thought of this...